E'redai

I think about you everyday.

When the coffee pot is hours late and raccoons are attacking the attic door, and the mailman missed us by inches, and all I want is to go back to sleep!!! See Mariah... using irritated skin serum on her fingers to cruelly extract strands of black curly hair. turn the page. Now we can watch Mariah purposefully "lose" the index card with a romantic-grunge-king's cell digits imprinted on it in disgusting black ink. Say hello to Spring. 'hi' to cyanide.

How could this have happened? I can't... fix it, except by leaving. That hurts, too. You s-a-v-e-d me. It's more serious than suicide. I wouldn't have made it this far with a personality if you were not there. and I would've lost everything I had inside me if you hadn't goaded it on, in the best way imaginable. You made me want to be myself again. I cant repay that. this is what I did; I think I ____ __ ____ ____ ___.

and I would say it. but that can't fix it; just make it hurt more. your name's still in my browser. and I have to delete it soon. fuck. I don't know how this happened, I'm so sorry.

The best part about us was that you were untouchable. I never wanted you like that. I never... liked you that way. Even though some people thought that. I knew I didn't. Until now.

oh fuck. I can't lose you like her. I can't. Not after you helped me get over that... only to lead me back to it. I won't do it. what am I going to do now?