Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Faiery Wrings.

I couldn't have imagined losing my mind six months ago. I had no warning it would be like this, else I would've pursued and much more---subdued course of events.

When I woke up this morning, I touched the Liberty Bell and shook it until it cracked like the one in Philadelphia. I also had a vision of God. I stole a car, hijacked my friends from Bishop Moore, locked them in a cellar and beat the shit out of them until they apologized. Then I bought the Dark Knight DVD, wrapped it up and placed it on her doorstep as an early Christmas present.

If course, I did all of this before I even opened my eyes and when this hallucination finished, an hour had gone by. Mom wonders how I managed to sleep in after almost a FULL night of sleep. So do I.

I think I texted Mikael. I know I skipped school; that part was real, is real. I could've sworn I wrote the essay on My Last Duchess but I suppose I was mistaken. I got my eyebrows waxed, but I also thought I got a facial, my nails done, my hair done. Or maybe that was Diane?

Maybe if I can separate myself from this idea of life...I can go a day without malfunctioning. I did it to myself just a little while ago. While I am watching Dark Knight in the comfort of my cozy warm bed, I recall Anna falling asleep on my shoulder the last night I had with her in Chicago when we walked the Nile to see Dark Knight at midnight--yea great idea mariah! NOT

Either Way, my subconscious put me there, again. With my hand holding hers and sort of moving in a circular motion on her leg while her face was buried in my shoulder, covered by her hair. And I'm pretty sure the girl next to me...Emma I think her name was....knows whats going on because it seems as if everyone in HSSI has heard about us....maybe because of me or maybe because its obvious. We only kissed in public at the hookah bar and only because I initiated it after we all got to watch Julius hit on Alaina's cousin.

That's a long story...and i didnt relive all of that in the past hour---just the part with Anna in the movie theatre. And the worst part is that my mind relives the memory---and decides to add things it likes better. I've had hallucinations where Krystal hugs me and then shoves me against a wall before making out with me. For fuck's sake, she couldn't even do that to her boyfriend of five months, let alone a chick, her best friend in front of people. And the conversation we were having in the dream was one we'd actually had...about her mom's ex-boyfriend, coincidentally named Paul, and how he was an asshole, like all Paul's turn out to be, except (I hope) Kathy's because Diane thinks he's a sweetheart and thats what really matters.

Like is getting crazier---or maybe it's back to normal? I'm less sure of myself today than I was as an insecure pre-teen. and HOLY FUCK! I just realized that my dog fell asleep in my room and she scared the fuck out of me...