Thursday, September 18, 2008

You screwed Satan, kind of like you screwed me, but obviously with different mechanics. The woes of a lesbian.

You sort of laughed at me when I tried to kiss you, seduce you, in the BIG HUGE room of BIG HUGE mirrors and so did everybody else present, but I didn't tell you that. It was sort of a big hate-fest of Mariah, and I'm ashamed that my mind had you present. We did get far, but you shrugged it away because honestly, you didn't want it. Honestly.

And I don't think you want to talk to me, now. I can't blame you because I'm stark raving mad and an idiot to boot. I really don't mean to treat you like Krystal because I love talking to you. You make me feel better about everything. But I think I'll cut back. it starting to weird me out. Not to mention what it does to you, I'm sure.

When you started to bleed, I guess I freaked out, and it made you go away. It was my fault, I'm sorry, but dream-Anna was not forgiving. God, imagine if I fucked up royally in real life. Would you leave like everyone else did?

Sordid, moan, bitch and whine, I'm warning ya, that's all I do. Usually, unless I'm talking to you because your energy honestly seeps through the computer and soaks my turkey sandwich---thanks a lot Anna! haha

Yes, my memory is melting! I can't even remember the way you felt on my skin, or tasted, or smelled or anything---I think it's high time for a reunion! You should let that deep inhalation out before you suffocate; I am not a drug addict, well not exactly. anymore, I swear! I think I swear to much and and is muttered too much as well, I'm sorry!

But I felt miserable when you got hurt, and I tried making up for it. I tried my best like I would've in real-life if I had known how Chicago would end up. I knew I would never see you again, and I've resigned myself to that fact. You haven't though,and for once it's weird not to be begging someone, especially a girl.

My dreams have missed you, and that BIG HUGE room of BIG HUGE mirrors is completely shattered for you.

I read those things you said today and they still hurt. You were right. Times change, but people don't.

"i moinsdetrois u: we gain and lose friendships and we become better people along the way and learn"

fuck you. you haven't become a better person, and I'm the one who's learned.