Eurhythmics 2

I boarded my flight this morning with trepidation.

Hangover? check.
No-Bite nailpolish? check.
feelings of eminent failure? check.
AP Environmental Exam review workbook? check.

excitment for fulfilling an ultimate dream, fantasy, whatever?

......

guess i forgot that shit at home, cause if mom finds out before my ass is in seat C26, I will never leave my hospital bed, let alone the airport. From under the corkscrew plays loudly, drowning out all of the safety reminders and demonstrations by the flight attendents. I feel like Kevin from HomeAlone 2, i could be on the wrong plane, god dammit!

But it takes off without a stitch, and I relax measurably. The glasses come on, the gloves are off, and a coke is experiencing extreme turbulence since the weather in chicago is nothing like that in sunny-ass florida.

Of course Rogue Wave is on the soundtrack for Nick and Nora's infinite playlist, use your head! You have concert tickets and you are busy the day I fly in---I know that and I'm not surprised, you are a very popular girl and it was rude of me to decide that you would have to be free the second I was within train distance. Forgive me.

It's a good thing you did have plans, because I didn't go to Chicago, and I probably won't. I never left this fucking city, and I'm scared I never will. Yes, I will eat my fritos covered in an explosion of twisty flavor of the Honey BBQ persuasion. I will listen to my Sweeney Todd songs on repeat and I will toss a rifle with a cracked thumb, because my name is Mariah and I do whatever the fuck I want.

I will write this blog instead of completing the ginormous pile of homework haunting in my closet. I will be jealous and imagine you, here, with me, to sort of ease the way. Maybe I'll lie about something else stupid. Honesty is not my policy, sweetie, and I'm sure one of us will want out of this before it even starts. I will attempt to get inot the signing-dancing-let's-do-overdue-make-up-vocabularly mood, but I wont make you any promises, love.

I was not drunk, but I was halfway there, I guess. Tolerence fades when the habit dies because Paul made it.

So I vulnerable to Shawn's tactics....Scott's too, and if any other guys had been there---fuck, I woud've gotten with them too. Why is it that when I decide I'm interested in girls...I actually have options in guys.

I'm working on Homecoming.
I'm going to go cry now.