B r i s i n g r

How old are you turning? Discreetly whisper in my ear, I don't want the others to hear how I've robbed the cradle for some explosive jail bait. The day of yesterday could be the definition of exceedingly paranormal. I voluntarily called someone I loved and hated it. Then I told him I loved him, when I'm not sure if I do. I take two steps forward, and fall into a manhole every hour I breathe. I can study Dystopia, but I doubt I'll ever understand them.

For a senior picture, I put on the chain though it didn't make me happy. Now I sort of regret it. There were blue chains, and old chains, and new chains, and chains greased with mold. Either way, mine was properly chosen with an off-the-shoulder shawl strictly dress code. I escaped the Wrath of the doctor for once. I think I'll push my luck and wear those plaid pants on Monday, yes that sounds fitting.

Sweeeeettt Caroollinnnneeee, The drunken calls of my friends will forever now echo in my head. Today we broke a record---how many shots we can take without being drunk, though the judge was pretty trashed herself. heeyyyyyyyy Baaaabaay, though we used to yell Casey, it was her first time, and Casey is away in college unfortunately. That is an experience I will forever have, and she will not, though I would trade it for Savannah Georgia in a single panicked heartbreak. I'm a stitch away from making it.

A scar away from falling apart. But you're full-moon pills are drugging me up and Anna I'm sorry I called, it was incredibly stupid and insensitive of me. I won't be talking to you again anytime soon, I promise. Busted.

I cannot feel the love tonight. I believe in life after love and fuck you're just too good to be true, while we mourned the death of a friend, and i serenaded my poor baby Jessie because I love her and was reminded of my choice, the one I made when I fell in love with a girl?

This essay gives you an opportunity to show how effectively you never learned to develop and/or express idea. You should, therefore, not even bother, most never survive past the prompt question. blank papers are disqualified. Take care to develop your point of view, present your ideas logically and clearly, and use language precisely.

Precisely, I think you should fuck yourself.

Your essay must be written on the lines provided on your answer sheet.

---actually, I was going to cram it into the margins of the paper with all those empty bubbles, okay?

You will receive no other paper on which to write.

--don't worry, you've given me over 100 sheets already! I'll just write over all of those words...

You will have enough space if you write on every line, avoid wide margins, and keep your handwriting a reasonable size.

---wow, it's like you know me or something.

Remember that people who are not familiar with your handwriting will read what you write.

---well that doesn't sound thought-out, now does it? What if they are familiar with the boy sitting next to me's handwriting? then he has an unfair advantage?! his mom could be the essay-reader for the SAT for Christ's sake! are you drug-testing these people?

Try to write or print so that what you are writing is legible to those readers.

---try to write or print? I could've sworn that print was a form of writing, or that you could write by printing. Am I Mistaken? explains why i only got a 1270.

A pencil is required for the essay.

---believe me, I know. We've been taking standardized testing since the emergency room.

Do not write your essay in your test book.

---damn. you got me.

An off-topic essay will receive a score of zero.

----really? now, who's crazy idea was that?

If your essay does not reflect your original and individual work, your test scores may be canceled.

----you SAT people don't miss a trick do ya? QUESTION: how am i to be individual and original when all the words I use have been written already? in the dictionary?

You have twenty-five minutes to write an essay on the topic below.

---Now I know you're fucking joking.

"Nowadays nothing is private: our culture has become too confessional and self-expressive. People think that to hide one's thoughts or feelings is to pretend not to have those thoughts or feelings. They assume that honesty requires one to express every inclination and impulse."

Adapted from J. David Vellemen, "The Genesis of Shame"

---how did you adapt it, why do I care, and who the fuck are you to say that shit to me!?

I give up. I draw a nice dark X in the bubbles on page 3 of my answer sheet and turn it in with a grin. 1270 is good enough for me and I'm not playing this game again.